The Adventures of Marianne

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Breaking and Entering

It's 06.15 am, homecoming morning. My flatmate is away for the night with the rugby team, and won't be returning until tonight. I'm happily asleep in my warm bed, feeling safe, sound and well, asleep.

Imagine my surprise (read: shock and horror) when I am awoken from my sleep by heavy footsteps and loud breathing approaching.

Adrenalin pumping, I scramble for my cell phone and block the door to my room with my office chair. I feel terrified and vulnerable, and I'm not wearing contacts.

I muster up the courage to talk. "Hello!? Who's there?"


Footsteps in my apartment. They're definitely coming towards my room.

Crap. So I'm going to get killed. I guess my choice of attending university in a city with 9 prisons is finally catching up to me.

"Hello!? Whoever's there, tell me, or please leave!"

Footsteps stop, and I hear the clunk of the toilet seat. Great, whoever's in my house is relieving himself.

I start yelling again, slightly more frantic and panicky.

"Hello!? Tell me who you are, or I'm calling the police!"

Heavy footsteps moving towards my bedroom door.

"Uh, hello?"
The intruder speaks. He sounds big and scary.

"DO I KNOW YOU?!" I'm not quite as scared anymore, but I don't recognize the voice. I definitely do not know this person.

"Uh, yeah, no, you don't, I, uh, just needed to use the bathroom. I knew a guy who lived here a few years back, and uh, I guess I'll be leaving now." He seems a bit embarrassed, but not really. I sneak a peek out of my bedroom door as he's leaving. The man is a tank. Even with my ultimate fighting skills (pffft), I wouldn't have stood a chance, had he actually been out to kill me.

So now it's 7 am, I can't fall asleep again, and I really need a drink.

To all guys out there needing to take a leak: PLEASE, just go outside. Find a backyard, a driveway, a tree, whatever. The girl home alone in the house where you want to use the bathroom will be scared shitless if you just break in and take advantage of her bathroom facilities.

Oh, and he left the seat up. Classy.


Post a Comment

<< Home