The Return of Miss Procrastination

She's back and hungry for revenge. The hiatus in which there was simply not all that much to procrastinate is officially over, and now she is making up for lost time.

It's currently 2 am in the morning, and my 2000 word marketing case study writeup is due in 10 hours. Let's do a quick word count to see where I'm at.

Oh yeah: 74 words. Including my full name and title of the actual assignment. And the name of the professor. And the name of the class. And today's date in written form. FINE, so I guess technically it's only 39 words or something, making me about 1.95% done.

This is going to be a long night...

Daniel and Marianne - making a mess of Singapore since 2005 

How to spot a Swede

I don't think there is a more distinctive nationality.

If the answer to more than 3 of these questions about a guy is yes, chances are he is indeed Swedish:
1. Is he blonde?
2. Does he like to help himself to other people's beer?
3. Is his hair too high maintenance or too long and combed back?
4. Does he have a tendency to wear deep v-neck shirts and capris?
5. Does he do snus? (Chewing tobacco that you stuff under your upper lip).

These statements are of course, based on long hours of extensively accurate statistical testing and research. In fact, about 90% of the subjects encountered while here in Singapore fulfilled these criteria.

The Aviator

What a SHIT movie.

And I didn't even have very high expectations.

Cate Blanchett as Katherine Hepburn must be the most annoying character in the history of film, and I have to say that while I too had my embarrassing moment of liking him (come on, I was 13!), even Bob Saget would have done a better performance.

An absolute waste of 3 hours of my life.

Wasting time in the unemployment line

I need a job.

Please hire me this summer? Applications are out, but replies aren't exactly flowing in.

I went to a swedish professionals abroad thing last night, which was decent - then some pool and Ali G with the Irish. Nothing spectacular though - Lindsey's professor was blatantly hitting on her and wine was $14/glass. In other words, an establishment trying to mask their iffy clientele and look classier by jacking up their prices. I didn't buy it.

Off to some group meeting now - it's negotiations time.

Jordan and Dan looking, uh... "interesting" in their women's jeans 

Losing sleep

I got up almost 3.5 hours ago at 8 am, feeling strangely alert and awake. Then again, I suppose it wasn't really all that strange, given that I went to bed before 7 pm the night before. Either way: MAN, it felt good!

The real story behind this can be explained by the fact that yesterday night's sleep amounted to 2 hours - 2 hours of sleep that were taken between 9 and 11 am, at which time I had to shower and leave to be an extra on a MEDIACORP production. That's right, Marie, Maria, Lukasz, Schwerb, Rob, Olivier and I will be appearing in a Chinese TV drama on March 8th. A very low budget TV drama, mind you - but TV no less.

Why only 2 hours of sleep you may ask. Well, I'm not entirely sure myself. Since Paul from Ireland came back from Ireland and Jani from Finland was getting the heave-ho from his room, the irish had a joint Welcome Back/Goodbye party at the apartment. It really started out quite calmly - me and Dan were sharing a bottle of Malaysian (read: cheapy mcthrifty) vodka with mango and pineapple juice, but since it was slightly green and tasted like death (the juice, as it turns out, was produced in Tanjung Pinang - we should have known then that attempting to drink it would be a bad idea) we trekked down to the gas station to get some beer. When we came back, however, the place had filled up, and things got interesting. We made a hole in the kitchen ceiling in which to dispose of beer bottles and shortly left for Boat Quay to go to Ataca. Ataca was a great place, but apparently their age limit for guys was 25 (as mentioned before, sexism flourished in Singapore - this rule was not valid for girls) so after having been there for a bit, we got tossed out in spite of Jordan's attempts to reason with the bouncers. Then we went on to Bedroom for a bit, but left pretty quickly after one the random brits we met up with got too friendly, and headed on to a place called Gotham. We were the only people in there, but that was fine - our current state at the time and the fact that girls got free drinks definitely made up for it.

There was a repeat performance of the switcharoo, by the way; this time the participants included Dan, Jordan, Tiffany and myself. I must say, Dan definitely got a better deal than Jordan, who ended up in Tiffany's skin-tight, diamond studded jeans for the remainder of the night. If he had tied his shirt so that his midriff was bared, I would have sworn he was the other guy in Wham.

By now, it was about 5 am in the morning, and I had pretty much come to the realization that there was no way I would make it to my 8.30 class. So rather than going home and pretending like I would, we decided to head back to the Irish place for an after-party. When we arrived, we realized that Daisy, Paul's friend from when he was on exchange in the States, had puked all over the apartment, and Kara had stayed behind to clean up. Needless to say she was not too happy, and her mood didn't exactly improve when Tony went apeshit on her cause she was sleeping in her bed. So I walked her home, and when I got back, everyone was still pretty upbeat, and somehow we got the bright idea to walk to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve to see the sunrise. At this point, people were out walking their dogs, in school uniforms on their way to school and out jogging. I went to sleep on a bench, and after Tony got his fix of posing with random people and their dogs, we headed back to the apartment: me too sleep by the pool, they to swim in the pool. Unfortunately, they felt I should swim too, and so my sunlounger was cruelly thrown into the pool - with me on it.

5 minutes later, a cabdriver finds himself with 2 soaked, intoxicated university students on their way home to have a 2 hour nap before their class presentation/tv filming.

Today I intend on doing nothing until I go to my Swedish party, where I have a feeling my intentions of sobriety will once more be overturned.

Idol Fever!

I've come to the conclusion that Idol programmes will be the demise of this world. Last night was Patron's Day at Singapore Management University (where I'm currently "studying"). Not only did the president of Singapore come, but more importantly, the winner of Singapore Idol, often referred to as "the Usher of Singapore" had a guest performance of a whopping 3 songs. Just as well that it was that short, really - i don't know if I could have taken much more.

Why is it that someone who is so intrinsically rubbish can become so famous and popular? I mean, there must have been hundreds of highly educated people present yesterday - screaming and cheering for this self-proclaimed musician. Frustrating.

The exchange students represented like crazy though - while what must be close to 90% of the local students headed home before 9 pm, we stayed till minuit, and helped ourselves to orchids en mass, got some food and then the most dedicated ones (Jani, Dan, Rob, Tony and I) went on to Boat Quay and got even more drunk. Discussions on foreign policy and the EU, bartop dancing and general rowdiness ensued. Random combination, really. Bedroom, the next place we went (Boat Quay closed at 3am) was owned by a Canadian, and Dan went nuts when he saw the Canucks hockey jersey on the wall and scored us free shots from the owner.

Needless to day, this morning was rough. And Singapore Idol still sucks!

Batam Fast Speedboat. 

The Adventure Continues

In terms of transportation, this weekend has definitely been the craziest thus far in my life.

Over the course of 3 days and 2 nights, I have utilized the following modes of transport:

- Regular passenger ferry (owned by Penguin Ferry Services)
- Teksi ( generally sold by the words "Hello friend! How ah you? Wheh you goin? Teksi?")
- Minivan w/ benches and 15 other passengers
- "Bus"
- Scooters* rented from a group of random guys in Tanjung Uban
- On the back of an old lady's truck
and
- Speedboat. Allow me to elaborate: in Indonesia, speedboat means a low, low boat. Soo low. The picture speaks for itself. Interesting fact - we were more than 50 people, not including the 7 year old ticket collector.

*These were some high quality bikes, by the way: halfway through the second day, the gear shifter simply broke straight off.


On the first night, Dan, Christine and I stayed in a worndown beach resort (I love how even beach resorts has chickens running around! On Saturday morning, Dan ordered an omelette, but they told us there were no more eggs left. 10 minutes later, though, eggs were available again, and the omelette emerged.), and had dinner at a restaurant on big poles out on the water. We also befriended some french exchange students that were at NUS, but despite beer for 8000 Rupiah, it was an early night... Saturday was awesome though, after obtaining scooters and some cheapo dvds, we made it to Bintan Resorts, and got a place to stay. Strangely enough, the receptionist was the same guy we had talked to on the bus from Gelak to Tanjung Uban. We got some food and cheap beer, then hit up the beach party at Mana Mana. Had a great time, that became even greater when they only charged my credit card with one of the 3 rounds of drinks we had. High point was definitely when they played Cheeky Girls - I honestly don't think I've ever seen Dan as happy as I did right then.

The next day we mooched the beach off of the resort, and it was beautiful - much better than the slimy beach at the place we stayed the first night. Dan sported an amazing farmers tan - that must have been what prompted some local Indonesians to ask if they could take our picture. We agreed, thinking they would take a photo and be off, but rather they now have a collection of close to 20 photographs and video footage of the entire family posing with us. It's been a while since I've laughed that hard!

All in all a great trip.

Hehe, it was even an interesting return voyage to Singapore - we ran out of money and struggled to get through 2 ferrys and one taxi ride for 3 people for 10 Sing Dollars. Well, I'm back at least - I was pleasantly surprised to see that we actually made it.

Fishing Village in Bintan, Indonesia 

Entry Denied

This weekend, 7 of us decided to take a spur of the moment trip to Batam and Bintan in Indonesia. Unfortunately, we assumed that obtaining visas upon entry would not be a problem.

In Indonesia, however, while they grant entry without visa to Morocco, Peru, Oman and a few more nations, Ireland, Belgium and Mexico are not eligible for visas upon entry. Am I the only one that finds this strange?

So, to make a short story even shorter; the end of the beginning of my story of an Indonesian adventure is that shortly later, Seba, Pedro, Sean and Tony were led into a makeshift holding pen, and then sent on the first boat back to Singapore.

Hence, this weekend consisted of Christine from Germany/Austria/Switzerland, Dan and myself. I still really enjoyed the trip, though - despite the fact that the deportation of our friends put a bit of a damper on the first night. Reports from the ensuing adventure will follow shortly.

How not to make a sale

Last night I went roaming Orchard Road for some new cheap sheets that are slightly more attractive than my current beige/orange/floral/brown bed decor.

Walking past some small shops selling shoddy souvenirs and tshirts, salespeople would bug you as you walked past. This is somewhat annoying, but genereally I don't mind so much and simply ignore it. Usually, lines such as "Where you from?" or "Special Plice for you" try to lure you into the store. Last night, however, I experienced something new.

"You come and buy shirt! We have big blouses - very stretchy for you!"

Since when is calling your customer fat a good sales strategy?

The Petronas Towers (remember Entrapment?) 

Kuala Lumpur in a nutshell

Definitely more pleasure than business!

The past weekend in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia - land of Ringits, knockoffs, actual weather (as opposed to "overcast and humid") and one hell of a monorail system.

In short it was a great and action-packed time. Some lessons I learned:

1. When the bus company says the trip takes 5 hours, they mean 7. At least. And when the bus company says they'll show up at 12.30 on Sunday to drive us back, they mean they'll show up when the goddamn want to, and most likely with a different bus with a highly substandard interior.
2. Never give the microphone to Pedro.
3. Never give the hotel your credit card. EVER! Especially if you've booked 20 rooms for 40 rowdy exchange students, who drink, run, scream, sing and, according to the CCTV, tend to steal powder fire extinguishers and spray them all over a suite. Unless of course your hotel has a policy like our hotel, where we were billed a whopping 150 ringgits for a used fire extinguisher, trashed hotel room, countless noise complaints and general obnoxiousness.
4. Security guards are retarded! Case in point: Me and Dan, rather intoxicated and soaked in water and white powder are running down the hall to avoid trouble regarding the fire extinguisher. Enter security guard walking in the opposite direction. Also enter Dan and Marianne's "OH SHIT" thoughts and feelings of impending doom. What happens? Guard nods at us and keeps walking. Hurrah!
5. If you put your mind to it, you can get up at 9 am, go see some Indian caves, go up the Petronas Tower (you know, the ones from Entrapment), see a fake capital city that is entirely empty but cost billions of Ringgits, go to Chinatown, bargain and buy lots of knockoff gear, take a cab, train and monorail, go to the top of the TV Tower, buy RM300 worth of booze, eat an iffy pizza hut pizza, have a preparty and sing (loudly), go out, hear about one of the others get hit in the face with a beer bottle, go to a public Malaysian hospital, go searching for a long distance calling card at 3 am in a random neighbourhood, have an afterparty until 6 am, and finally go to sleep with an extra person in your room due to the powderiness of his own.
6. Point 5 results in sleep on the bus.
7. When possible, hold out on going to the bathroom until you cross the border back into Singapore
8. ALWAYS WEAR SUNSCREEN (lesson from previous few days - I am now officially skin cancer waiting to happen. Lobsterhood does not become me)

[As a side note, todayI learned: Always check your schedule before going to class. Especially if you think you have 8.30 class. I am now sitting outside food haven at 9.12 in the morning, with 6 hours straight of class starting in almost 3 hours. Shitty.]

Life's a beach and then you die

And boy am I dying.

Yesterday I went to Changi Beach Park with Mina - not exactly a spectacular beach, but decent for Singapore, I suppose. It was a sunny day, and I don't exactly know what happened to my brain capacity, but it failed me. 3 hours later I was back at the apartment, in pain and feeling queasy, red skin (no, not pink, red). I'm still struggling to sit up, and I'm actually nervous that the right side of my face is going to fall off - it's now blistering like a regular burn...

I hate being scared. And we leave for KL in 5 hours...

I wish I wasn't this stupid.

Ye Olde Switcharoo

A story that has to be told.

A few nights ago, us exchange students decided to go out (shocker, isn't it?). Stop number one was Insomnia, a place where you pay S$18 to get in, and then get free drinks between 9 and 11 if you're a guy, 9 and midnight if you're a girl (this country is rife with gender discrimination and I'm loving it!). I was running late, but while getting ready, I receive a call from Dan. "Could you bring me a pair of shoes?" Apparently shorts and sandals is inappropriate attire -- unless you are a girl, that is. So, no worries, I bring a shopping bag with Dan's shoes, he changes, and the night is saved. We all stay at Insomnia for a few hours, get some drinks, get invited to party with shemales (an offer I declined), and then go on Zouk.

Here awaits obstacle number two. Despite his shoes, the bouncers refuse Dan entrance because he isn't wearing trousers. Quite the dilemma. We stand arguing with the guy for a few minutes, using arguments such as the fact that 75% of the girls entering the club are in miniskirts. The bouncer, however, simply retorts, "Eet is deeferent for girls-lah!". And so a brilliant idea arises. We both dash around the corner, and 1 minute later, Dan is elegantly clad in skintight jeans that are 30 cm too short, while I am sporting baggy, beige cargo shorts that go past my knees. Despite some raised eyebrows and "is she a lesbian" mutterings in the bathroom, the old switcharoo was a blasting success.

It was a good night.

[For me at least. Dan lost the group later on, went home and slept on the porch in front of our door. Oh alcohol, how I love thee.]

mmmm... tasty. 

Monkeying Around

This morning, Mina asked me, "Should we maybe put on some sunscreen?". Of course I replied in a terribly overconfident manner, "No, no - of course not! I've been here for a week and am just as pale as when I arrived. The sun never even comes out."

Now we're sitting in the living room lobster-faced and I'm eating my words.

It was a great day though - me, Dan and Mina did some hardcore sightseeing, and I came home with 71 pictures on my camera. More than half of these were of monkees, though! Monkeys! It was crazy, we went to the nature reserve, and they were everywhere. Completely tame, too - except for the one that tried to steal my shopping bag and then got aggressive. I ran away like a scared little girl.

We also did some haggling on a digital camera, saw Chinatown, Raffles Hotel, The Merlion again and hiked to Singapore's highest point. Very productive. Then we had dinner at a place where "Fried Mermaid", "Meat porridge with Fermented Eggs" and "Frog Porridge" were menu highlights. Iffy. I stuck to just a drink as yesterday I spent 2 hours where I should have been in class regurgitating a questionable meal in the SMU bathroom. Ah, the joys of local food. It all still tastes amazing though, although I have a feeling it'll get old really soon.

There are so many things here that are so entirely different here - even though there are parts that are so much like home... And I don't just mean menu items. I learned yesterday, that apparently it's good luck to grow the facial hair you get on moles or warts in your face. I saw a bus driver with a goodsized wart with three .5 metre long whiskers hanging down. Charming. Also, when you give money, you're supposed to hand it to the person with both hands because otherwise it's bad luck. So much to learn! And I haven't even been to that many classes yet.

The one class I have though, is actually really interesting - New Product Development. The professor is Indian but just moved to Singapore 2 years ago after spending 7 years in Oslo! And we're reading (well, technically we were supposed to have read it as "background" before the class even started, but I had no idea) a great book called The Tipping Point - about what causes something to befcome a fad or trend. I definitely recommend it (although I haven't read any further than chapter 1).

So I'm not going out again tonight, my feet are broken after the monster amounts of walking we did today, and I want to be frisk som en fisk when we go to Kuala Lumpur!

Oh, Mina is the daughter of a friend of my mother's - apparently we met a few years ago at our "rustic" cabin, but I honestly can't remember. She's staying here for a few days though, then coming with us to KL, then travelling a bit before she starts her exchange semester in Sydney. I love random visitors.

So that's all for now - I'm looking forward to an evening of chillaxing. (Hehe, chillaxing. What an amazing word).

Photo Album

Pictures Pictures Pictures

So much to tell

Where to begin?

Well, it has now been 6 days since my arrival at Changi Airport, and Singapore is great. Ba da ba ba ba, I'm loving it.

The initial arrival was so so, I was quite overwhelmed by the extent of the humidity, but luckily Dan came and met me at the airport so he could guide my heatstrucken self by way of airconditioned taxi to our apartment. So far so good. I have to admit, though, that the ICA - aka The Ministry of Bureaucracy, was a less pleasant affair. First, you line up in order to get a number in line, then you wait for your number to be called. For us, that equalled 3.5 hours.

But the day improved significantly though, we had a party at Leedon 2 - then headed out for Ladies night at CU where drinks and cover was free all night! Not too shabby for a country where drinks are more expensive than in Norway! We're going back there tomorrow night - I'm bringing the daughter of one of my mother's friends who's stopping in Singapore on her way to Cambodia and Laos.

Friday was the party at the Japanese people's apartment - we had a vorspiel at the Norwegian place first - and I have to say, it was absolutely gorgeous. They pay the same rent as we do, but live in luxury. At least we're closer to the MRT and downtown. The Japanese place was insanely crowded - the police came only an hour after we showed up so that was an experience.

Jani, one of the Finnish guys here is actually staying at the Singapore Sheraton! Talk about student living! He's in a massive suite - with a king size canopy bed and a living room with plush chairs and a mini bar. Imagine living in a residence where you can call room service, or ask for more ice at any time, as well as a maid service! When we arrived in our taxi we were greeted by a man in a white colonial uniform, complete with that jungle hat - opened our doors and welcomed us. In the lobby there is an actual waterfall and what must be more than 100 pink orchids. He had a party on Saturday and I was overwhelmed to say the least.

I spent yesterday by the pool at the Americans' house then we went for Indian food in Holland Village - then for a few drinks at Boat Quay.

All in all: I am having an excellent time. Even the humidity has become tolerable, I just hope classes aren't too much work. This weekend will be spent in KL, and the weekend after Sibu Island (hopefully). I'm already spending way too much money, so we'll see what happens.

Take Care!

16 hours in Bahrain 

Musings on Mustaches

03.01.2005
kl 14.45

In true Seinfeld fashion, I begin: “What’s the deal with mustaches?”. Seriously, I have to admit that they’re not the most attractive thing around… Not many people suit mustaches. Of course, there are those who have to have them: I doubt Magnum PI, Adolf Hitler, the Monopoly Man and a few others would have had the same effect had it not been for their particular fuzzy upper-lip accessory. But sometimes I wonder about places where all men seem to have mustaches. And I mean all men. I wonder if there is some reason for this phenomenon. I have now been in Bahrain for half of my monstrous 16hour layover, and I have not seen one man over the age of 14 without a mustache. The reason to me, is unknown. If anyone has an explanation, please, please enlighten me, I am dying to know.

Otherwise, I’m finding Bahrain a bit of a mixed adventure. Upon arrival I got a free hotel room and waived visa fee (“but I don’t have any Bahraini currency”) which was nice, but people had a tendency to very openly stare and shout comments at me. It was pretty apparent that I was merely a visitor… But I got some photos and ate some food and now I’m back in the hotel room lounging for a bit. Lounging is key.